The other day I was coaching a woman. Her husband wants a divorce. He told her he didn’t love her anymore. She didn’t have a clue. My heart ached when she told me. She works full-time, they have two young children, busy lives. She told me they didn’t argue. They always talked things out.
Always? (Please take this word out of your vocabulary when it comes to relationships, it’s dangerous.)
Hmmm…..Obviously, something went awry. Either something was missing, something wasn’t good enough, somebody got distracted, etc.
Don’t let it happen to you!
Relationships are not passive. They are extremely active but not over active. It’s got to be just right.
And you’ve got to have more than just date night.
To get it just right, you must keep the fire burning in your relationship. From the day you meet until ….
Did you have fun when you first met?
Are you having fun now?
Always treat each other with total respect. Always speak to one another the way you like to be spoken to, even when you disagree. Do your best. When you slip up, catch yourself in the moment.
You must give them their space, and you must spend time with them.
Do your best to love those that they love but you don’t like. Be an elegant/gallant influence.
I gotta ask: Are you still doing the things you did together when you first met?
Right now, take a minute and go back to your courtship days. What were you doing that he loved about you? What was he doing that you loved about him? Are you still doing those things?
I gotta ask: Are you still having sex?
Sometimes we have to step up and give more than them and please don’t ever keep track. It’s not going to be equal! Don’t count; just keep giving. Expectations are a set up for disappointment.
Love them the way they need to be loved, not the way you want to love them.